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Music is supposed to be fun, right?
So here are a few "musician jokes" that we tell among ourselves.
 just to let you know- none of us take ourselves too seriously.
Please do not be offended by them, they are truly here in good spirit.

What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

"Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a guitar player!"
"Now Johnny, you know you can't do both!"

What is "perfect pitch?"
When you lob a clarinet into a toilet without hitting the rim.

What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, and the neighbors are upset if you borrow a
lawn mower and don't return it.

How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax?
Add vibrato.

What's the difference between a female vocalist and a bulldog?
The Jewelry.

Q:How can you tell a guitarist is at your door? 
A: By the Dominos Pizza hat.

Q: How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unision? 
A: Shoot One.

Q: What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars? 
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to turn down? 
A: Put some sheet music in front of him.

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: None-- they just steal someone else's light. 
Alternate Answer: 5-- One to change the bulb and 4 do watch him and say "I can do better than that." 
Alternate Answer: Only one-- but he'll go though a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

Q: In the 22nd Century, how many guitarists will it take to change a light source? 
A: 5-- One to do it and 4 to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb? 
A: He holds it and the world revolves around him.

Q: What's the difference between a Lead Guitarist and the PLO? 
A: You can negotiate with the PLO.

Q: Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune? 
A: Neither have I.

Q: What's black and blue and laying in a ditch? 
A: A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

2 guys were walking down the street. One was destitute. The other was a guitarist as well.